December 5th 2015
@ 3:47 p.m
Hey, just here, missed me guys? lol
Okay here goes..
I am in my room just laying on my bed contemplating about life, wondering where life is going to lead me in a few years and also where is have brought me. Like I am literally just laying down on the right side of my bed with a bunch of school papers,pens, calculator, books, ipad and highlighters on the left side.
Can you picture me now?
Then I looked on my laptop and literally said “hey boo” and of course I know I have been so distant when it came to blogging, so I am like why not type my thoughts.
Sorry for not posting blogs but school and life has me so busy.
Although December is such a bitter sweet month for me because for one it its the time of the year where I can eat curry goat, oxtail and drink sorrel for one whole week or maybe even 2 weeks straight! Courtesy of mi GRANNY! However is it also the time of the year that I lost the first man I ever loved, for some time it made me dark but for some reason God allowed me to grow into someone who really enjoys bettering herself and bettering others by having a positive impact on them.
Recently my favourite thing to say is
” Positive heart, mind, soul and body” with taking deep breaths in and out.
My year (2015) has been good so far not knocking no board just yet, would not want to jinx myself but so far…2015 has been good to me. I have been doing good in school, exercising and making life enjoyable even though I have had my fair shares of bad days where the tears seem to have zero chills and just run down my cheeks and I just let them until I build up enough courage to tell myself “get your shxt together”. I have met some beautiful, courageous and loving individuals also. One in particular and actually it was one of those friendships that started and honestly I thought it would eventually end and we would be nothing but strangers with a memory. But then God was like ” gotch ya my child” lol. Even up to this day I am still surprised we are so close! My new friend has made a great impact on my life and I honestly have a lot of respect for them ( I don’t even think they know the levels…lol) Anyone who teaches me, reasons with me and has my best interest at heart ( or at least I think so) is a friend I would want in my life forever until God says when.
How did I get here…..( Years Before 2015)
They say you might know someone for 2 years and feel as if you know nothing about them and you can know someone for 2 months and feel as if you know everything, this is debatable. Over the years I have lost so many “friends” because of lies.. males and females. I have had so many lies told about me, so many that I don’t even care about the lies to my face about other situations but when someone goes as far to MAKE UP AN ENTIRE SERIES ABOUT YOUR LIFE, that hurts, the type of hurt that makes your heart beat extremely fast, the type of hurt where you feel your heart beating in your throat, the type of hurt that brings tears to your eyes, the type of hurt that makes you go without eating for days and I could go on…
In my first year of University, I got so skinny because I went on social media (facebook, twitter and instagram) EVERYDAY just to see what a particular set of girls had to say about me and of course who can forget about the BBM statuses! And my favourite one the BBM conversations where they would literally curse me out because of lies that were told about me, I was being cursed out for something I had no idea about. Like literally I would ask God ” What did I do to deserve this?”
Even though It was only a set of people against me I felt as if it was the entire world and with all the support I still felt down, nothing could uplift me.
My fav quote was when a girl said
” you neck should a get slash like goat” or ” she is so manly” or ” she think she cute?” and of course I could go on..
L.M.A.O Good times!!
THIS IS NOT EVEN HALF OF THE STORY
ONE fine day I got up, MAD with the world and went on a mission deleted everybody from twitter, facebook and the gram and blocked who was to be blocked. I went on a mission to stop talking to everybody even my ONE friend that had my back. The best day was when I had a Samsung and it stopped working and for an entire year and I had no interest in getting a phone of my own but I had access to one, until I became a brand ambassador, I had a little peanut phone and then I upgraded to a digicel android.
Now my phone is my world,it is my life now along with instagram, twitter and newbie on the block snapchat lol
In my life a lot of things have occurred, a series of unfortunate events really and I DID NOT stoop down to those girls level. I ignored all the hateful comments, tweets and statuses I did not allow them to define who I am, I simply got the courage one day just to not to care about anything and just live my life. Also I was the centre of their world they ate, sleep, breath my name. I had to wonder if they were getting paid to stalk my social media pages then posting negative remarks.
I am extremely grateful and proud of myself of the way I had handled my situation. I never once wish bad for anyone or schemed a plan to take revenge. I just simply ignored them and lived. This is when my fitness journey started, I use to run EVERY.SINGLE.MORNING to clear my mind and start my day on a positive note. I no longer run but I do work out and try to eat healthy. But because of so many lies that told about me, to me when someone lie it not such a big deal and I don’t want to have that mentality but for some reason I do. I honestly think it is in human nature to lie and it is!…I lie but if I know it is going ruin someone’s life (pretty extreme lol) or have a negative impact on them I try my best to avoid that situation and tell the truth. If I lie and it should back fire I ensure that I am the only one in front of the fan when the shxt hits it.
Lies I tell are usually related to my location and school work lol
So now we are here in 2015 and I want to thank those girls for doing what they did, because honestly I am who I am because of what I went thru for the first 2 years of my University life. And funny enough… nah lets not go in to that but you see that thing call Karma, I believe in it.
Thanks for Reading.
I wont promise but I will try to make blog posts for the holidays. I love when I get comments from the handful of readers that I have.
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