Before 2015 Ends.

December 5th 2015

@ 3:47 p.m

Hey, just here, missed me guys? lol

Okay here goes..

I am in my room just laying on my bed contemplating about life, wondering where life is going to lead me in a few years and also where is have brought me. Like I am literally just laying down on the right side of my bed with a bunch of school papers,pens, calculator, books, ipad and highlighters on the left side.

Can you picture me now?

Then I looked on my laptop and literally said “hey boo” and of course I know I have been so distant when it came to blogging, so I am like why not type my thoughts.

Sorry for not posting blogs but school and life has me so busy.


Although December is such a bitter sweet month for me because for one it its the time of the year where I can eat curry goat, oxtail and drink sorrel for one whole week or  maybe even 2 weeks straight! Courtesy of mi GRANNY! However is it also the time of the year that I lost the first man I ever loved, for some time it made me dark but for some reason God allowed me to grow into someone who really enjoys bettering herself and bettering others by having a positive impact on them.

Recently my favourite thing to say is

” Positive heart, mind, soul and body” with taking deep breaths in and out.

My year (2015) has been good so far not knocking no board just yet, would not want to jinx myself but so far…2015 has been good to me. I have been doing good in school, exercising and making life enjoyable even though I have had my fair shares of bad days where the tears seem to have zero chills and just run down my cheeks and I just let them until I build up enough courage to tell myself “get your shxt together”. I have met some beautiful, courageous and loving individuals also. One in particular and actually it was one of those friendships that started and honestly I thought it would eventually end and we would be nothing but strangers with a memory. But then God was like            ” gotch ya my child”  lol. Even up to this day I am still surprised we are so close! My new friend has made a great impact on my life and I honestly have a lot of respect for them ( I don’t even think they know the levels…lol) Anyone who teaches me, reasons with me and  has my best interest at heart ( or at least I think so) is a friend I would want in my life forever until God says when.

How did I get here…..( Years Before 2015)

They say you might know someone for 2 years and feel as if you know nothing about them and you can know someone for 2 months and feel as if you know everything, this is debatable. Over the years I have lost so many “friends” because of lies.. males and females. I have had so many lies told about me, so many that I don’t even care about the lies to my face about other situations but when someone goes as far to MAKE UP AN ENTIRE SERIES ABOUT YOUR LIFE, that hurts, the type of hurt that makes your heart beat extremely fast, the type of hurt where you feel your heart beating in your throat, the type of hurt that brings tears to your eyes, the type of hurt that makes you go without eating for days and I could go on…

In my first year of University, I got so skinny because I went on social media (facebook, twitter and instagram) EVERYDAY just to see what a particular set of girls had to say about me and of course who can forget about the BBM statuses! And my favourite one the BBM conversations where they would literally curse me out  because of lies that were told about me, I was being cursed out for something I had no idea about. Like literally I would ask God        ” What did I do to deserve this?”

Even though It was only a set of people against me I felt as if it was the entire world and with all the support I still felt down, nothing could uplift me.

My fav quote was when a girl said

” you neck should a get slash like goat” or ” she is so manly” or ” she think she cute?” and of course I could go on..

L.M.A.O  Good times!!


ONE fine day I got up, MAD with the world and went on a mission deleted everybody from twitter, facebook and the gram and blocked who was to be blocked. I went on a mission to stop talking to everybody even my ONE friend that had my back. The best day was when I had a Samsung and it stopped working and for an entire year and I had no interest in getting a phone of my own but I had access to one, until I became a brand ambassador, I had a little peanut phone and then I upgraded to a digicel android.

Now my phone is my world,it is my life now along with instagram, twitter and newbie on the block snapchat lol

In my life a lot of things have occurred, a series of unfortunate events really and I DID NOT stoop down to those girls level. I ignored all the hateful comments, tweets and statuses I did not allow them to define who I am, I simply got the courage one day just to not to care about anything and just live my life. Also I was the centre of their world they ate, sleep, breath my name. I had to wonder if they were getting paid to stalk my social media pages then posting negative remarks.

I am extremely grateful and proud of myself  of the way I had handled my situation. I never once wish bad for anyone or schemed a plan to take revenge. I just simply ignored them and lived. This is when my fitness journey started, I use to run EVERY.SINGLE.MORNING to clear my mind and start my day on a positive note. I no longer run but I do work out and try to eat healthy. But because of so many lies that told about me, to me when someone lie it not such a big deal and I don’t want to have that mentality but for some reason I do. I honestly think it is in human nature to lie and it is!…I lie but if I know it is going ruin someone’s life (pretty extreme lol) or have a negative impact on them I try my best to avoid that situation and tell the truth. If I lie and it should back fire I ensure that I am the only one in front of the fan when the shxt hits it.

Lies I tell are usually related to my location and school work lol

So now we are here in 2015 and I want to thank those girls for doing what they did, because honestly I am who I am because of what I went thru for the first 2 years of my University life. And funny enough… nah lets not go in to that but you see  that thing call Karma, I believe in it.

Thanks for Reading.

I wont promise but I will try to make blog posts for the holidays. I love when I get comments from the handful of readers that I have.

Happy Holidays.

Follow me on Twitter:@iAmazeY0u
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Challenging Myself

There are too many countless times I have TRIED to challenge myself, telling myself that I am going get this thing done because I want it to be done. Just like everybody else I start this challenge off all excited, determined and just READY for action! For the first three days I am on a roll…

“Nobody can stop me, I got this!!!”  I would usually say to myself feeling proud and motivated.

Then look day four…

“where did my motivation and energy go?”

“okay I will continue tomorrow” the famous line I use on myself to feel better

And then suddenly only a couple days left until the month ends

” OKAY NEXT MONTH FOR SURE!” and then this never ending cycle continues.

OH LOOK new year comes, same things are said and actions cycled.

and then you are there wondering what happened to the young lady that said nothing can get in her way? you know the driven and motivated one. I want to be her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year, 365 days annually. Yes I want to be her. 

Why is it so hard to keep a promise to yourself, yet you try extremely hard to keep promises to family and friends? Well maybe because you just know how being disappointed feels when the closest people make promises to you and let you down and you just really would not want them to feel that way.

Yet …you… yourself allow YOU to feel that way and the same feeling you are protecting others from is the same feeling you cause upon yourself.

Life is so strange and funny.

Well today, March 11, 2015, I was thinking that I need to challenge myself with anything possible, formulate a plan and stick to it and Keep the promise to myself, just like how I keep promises to other individuals.

I am writing this BLOG as a reminder that I need to put myself first in many situations, likewise, you should too.

Also when I finally do challenge myself and stick to whatever it is I can look back and read this and say, BIG UP TO MY 21 YEAR OLD SELF! she the real MVP.:)

Thanks for Reading.

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10 Meaningless Things Guys Do That Make Girls Think They Like Them

Thought Catalog

Amazon / CluelessAmazon / Clueless

1. He likes your photos, repeatedly.

He likes your photo, not necessarily the girl in it. A Facebook or Instagram like is not the equivalent of an “I like you.” He’s most likely strolling through his newsfeed bored, and stops to notice that you look hot in your photo. It doesn’t take much effort to click a thumbs up on his computer screen.

2. He buys you a drink.

Most girls don’t mind when a guy buys them a drink, especially if he’s cute and we’re into him, but this is not a marriage proposal either. That vodka cranberry is more like a voucher for a dance or a kiss, than it is a promise of any kind of future relations.

3. He texts you…when he’s drunk.

Don’t read too far into the texts he is sending you at 2 am. They are more a reflection of…

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15 Signs You’re Trying To Get Your Shit Together But Like, It’s Hard

Thought Catalog

Young AdultYoung Adult

1. You went to the grocery store and bought all healthy things, but then you got tired and hungry when you got home, so you ordered pizza. You’ll cook tomorrow, right?

2. You got all that spinach for all those green smoothies. You made one. You threw out the spinach after it turned into mush in the bottom drawer of your refrigerator. Nice!

3. You woke up this morning like, I’m going to the gym if it’s the last thing I do in my entire life! You didn’t go. You’ll get ‘em next time, champ.

4. Last weekend you were all, I’m never drinking again, that’s it, never, ever, ever, ever? Two days later, happy hour happened and now you’re just breaking promises to yourself.

5. Save money? Budget? What do these words mean?

6. If you get all your laundry done and put away within the…

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This Is How We Date Now

Thought Catalog

iStockphotoiStockphoto / MmeEmil

We don’t commit now. We don’t see the point. They’ve always said there are so many fish in the sea, but never before has that sea of fish been right at our fingertips on OkCupid, Tinder, Grindr, Dattch, take your pick. We can order up a human being in the same way we can order up pad thai on Seamless. We think intimacy lies in a perfectly-executed string of emoji. We think effort is a “good morning” text. We say romance is dead, because maybe it is, but maybe we just need to reinvent it. Maybe romance in our modern age is putting the phone down long enough to look in each other’s eyes at dinner. Maybe romance is deleting Tinder off your phone after an incredible first date with someone. Maybe romance is still there, we just don’t know what it looks like now.

When we…

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Priorities lead to Independency

Why is it so hard to do the right thing? When you know the wrong thing and the decision that you are about to make deep down you know it is probably the most f*cked up decision out of all decisions, but guess what… You still made that same decision that you truly knew wasn’t the best but was the worst


Since entering the tertiary level I have an understanding of peer pressure, that feeling of wanting to “belong”. It’s like a feeling that MAKES you FEEL as if you HAVE to; not because you want to. Its amazing the levels people would go to be recognized by a certain class of people. The same class that their parents are wealthy enough to allow them to live the way they live or they are in a stable job that they can afford the “POSH” aka “UPTOWN” aka “UPT” lifestyle.

You have different types of persons that strive to be apart of this lifestyle but cannot maintain it but still seems to try to live it.

Want to live OXTAIL life, but have CHICKEN BACK salary.

You have:

1. The person that will rather take the last in their name to go to a party or buy an outfit, then starve.

2. The person that rather not go to school or to class because either they rather to be hanging with the “cool” individuals or they went out the night before and really just can’t be bothered because they are tired from “turning up” from the night before. 

3. The females that would rather be treated like shxt because that same man  that treats them this way pays for the clothes on her back, food on her table and the shoes on her feet.


She stays in this messed up relationship because she WANTS recognition from the other girls or another reason is to cause jealousy among other girls.

And the famous thought in her head..

“I want to leave him, but how will I maintain this lifestyle, how would I survive without HIM and then *PAM*go laugh after me”

Well for a start..

leff the boy! Run him!
Don’t care about what *PAM* thinks.

You won’t live the high maintenance lifestyle that you are use to for a while but you can gradually reach back with one step at a time and most importantly..


4. The people that hype off other people money.
These ones grieve me the most!
If someone is “sponsoring” you, please HUMBLE yourself. No..seriously the HYPE life is not for you.



Of course, nothing is wrong with someone taking care of you(but don’t be dependent on them), or you going out and turning up. But set your PRIORITIES straight. Also not everything you see is the way it is, never judge people and never assume. Life is funny no one is perfect and everyone you see and say:

I wish I could live the way they do

They also have problems to deal with and it is possible that you would never exchange the problems you face now for theirs.

Thanks for Reading.

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The “Self” Code

Hello 2015!

This is my first blog post of 2015 and I want to talk about “the girl code” or rather “the self code”. As females we should respect OUR privacy and not scandal our business to other females. Especially when you have only known them for less than 24hrs or less than a week. Some females tend to be very talkitive with their personal business.
For example, let me just talk about a few things I am referring to, which is from experience and if you do any of these, please be a lady and stop. So here we go….

1. The “Bae”
Ugh yes I said bae, you start talking about which guy you were recently talking to, why he left you, things he did to you, what you put up with, which other girl he use to talk to and on top of that slander her appearance and personality along with showing a few pics of the “other” girl.

2. The Family
I really don’t need to know the problems you are facing, such as, WHY you moved out, WHY you and your mom don’t talk, or HOW your dad is horrible and you hate him. (Personally I get sad when someone says bad things about their dad, even tho I know some dads aren’t really “fathers”).
Yes, you can tell me but I need no explanation to WHY and HOW, and if you talk shxt about your family that’s my cue to put u on the back burner of life. Girl it’s going to be easy for you to talk shxt about me, I see that CLEAR

3. Your annoying female friend
Why do you constantly complain about how annoying this one girl is and then you going to allow her to come at your house, go places with her and after you are finish being the two face that you are, the complaining continues.

4. The Ex that got away
I think its time to move on, I don’t need to know about the guy you were going to marry but because of “circumstances” you didn’t marry him and now its 2015 and he is happily married, but you “know” something is still there with you and him.


5. Complaining about the SIMPLEST of things.
Just please STOP, then you repeat the same thing over and over and over again. UGH annoying.

6. Searching for a man


” I need someone to love me and take care of me”

Girl love YOURSELF and take care of YOURSELF. You don’t need a man, you need to just relax, be patient, stay FOCUS and PRAY.

At the end of the day, men want their lady to be successful and smart. Trust me its part of the “Showing off my girl” process.

So if you know that you do any of the above to someone you only have known for less than a day or less than a week, you need to stop because girls are MEAN.. All we going to do is laugh and that is the sad truth about reality. Don’t look for sympathy just be strong and know that

to appreciate the sunshine we must go through the storm.

Don’t get me wrong, talking about your problems to someone you have known for years and you can TRUST is always a good thing, because we all have problems we want and need to get off our chest from time to time.

Thanks For Reading.

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